Squirreled Away

REAL Shoes!

2010-06-30T19:06:00.004-05:00

Yahoo! Yesterday, for the first time since my surgery, I put on REAL shoes!! Ok, so yesterday it was sandals and today was tennis shoes, (Is that right, tennis shoes? It looks funny.) but at least they were shoes and not my not-so-beloved boot!

Walking is a bit rough, rolling my toe isn't so easy still, but I can feel the stretching, which is good. As my doc keeps saying, use it or lose it! I'm thrilled with the progress so far.... I got to take a long walk with Rigby this afternoon, which was the first time since my surgery that I could do that with two shoes....

Man. You really don't appreciate your feet until they are messed up. If you have good feet, consider yourself blessed!!

On to the "Walking" Cast

2010-06-08T16:01:00.002-05:00

Last Thursday I got rid of my beloved scooter and upgraded (at least in the form of progress towards full recovery) to a "walking" boot! They once again took all the bandages off and I got to see my someone still gross looking foot again. I can say it looks like it is healing well, but yeah, it is still pretty gross.

Now, my "walking" boot should really be called a shuffling boot. Given that I can't bend my ankle in it, you can't really walk in it, even if it doesn't hurt (which most of the time, it does not). Not to mention this sucker is heavy. I would guess it weights something similar to the cast I had before, only now I'm trying to walk with it.

My other boot complaint? The boot puts my foot up a good 2 - 2 1/2 inches off the ground. So I have to wear a heel of some type on my second foot, just so I even out. Luckily I had a pair of Dansko sandles that have a serious base and heel to them (but not like "heels") so I don't kill myself walking in it. Seriously, trying to walk with a flat shoe and the boot would really mess up your hips I think. I found one other pair of shoes that I got a the Walking Company that also seem to do the trick.

Either way though, I'll take it. The boot definitely lets me get around a lot better (even if it is much slower) than the scooter. The scoots served it's purpose, but I'm glad I can now get my own breakfast and hopefully I'll take a standing shower soon. The shower chair is getting old.

Stupid Cripple Moment #2: PAIN

2010-05-24T14:44:00.003-05:00

So my next stroke of post-surgery brilliance came the night after I got my new cast put on (that was May 17th, in case you were wondering.)

I was so excited to get the old cast off and the staples out of my foot I could have died. It felt like a major accomplishment (which sounds stupid, since I wasn't really doing anything) in the recovery process. Taking the staples out really didn't hurt (which I really thought it would) and the whole process was pretty easy and painless. Unfortnately, it also meant getting a new cast on, which always sort of sucks. Not that the process sucks, simply that having one sucks, on the upside, I thought the next time this baby came off, it would be the end of my hard cast days!

We got the soft wrapping of the foot all done (they do this to protect the wound), and I even tested it out (putting weight on my foot for the first seconds in weeks) and it seemed fine. They put the cast on (and in fact, I could even see my toes!) and sent my on my way. My doc left with the wise (and now forboding) parting words of, "Remember, it is supposed to be hurting less now, not more." Everything seemed fine....

...until about 3 hours later. My foot started to hurt. More specifically my big toe and the joint started to hurt. A lot. Zach came home from work and saw one pathetic wife on the couch. I thought maybe the pain was just from the doc minipulating my toe (which was awefully painful on its own) and maybe he over did it. Frankly, it was probably the worst pain I had felt up to that point with this whole thing. This should have been a rather obvious sign that something was wrong and that I should do something about it. But of course I didn't.

I eventually crawled up the stairs (I think there might have been some crying involved) and went to bed, doped up on Vicodin, in hopes of a decent night sleep and a better morning.

Amazingly, I woke up feeling not too bad. I went to work, and it still wasn't too bad. I called the doctor anyways, since that "call if it hurts" warning was still in my head. With the report that was CURRENTLY feeling not too bad, they scheduled an appointment for the following day, just to be sure.

I went home, still feeling not too bad. I hit the couch and got my foot up and it started to hurt. I took some Vicodin, hopeing it would help. By the time Zach got home (about 8 or 8:30) it was terrible pain and had taken as much Vicodin as was allowed. It was rivaling the night before, however I could barely even set it down on a pillow without more pain. I kept holding my foot higher and higher, but then I couldn't put it down again without excrushiating pain. This was getting ugly.

After an hour or so of back and fourth about what to do (Try to cut the cast off? Go to the ER? Dope me up and wait for tomorrow's appointment?) we decided to do the logical thing. We called the "emergency" number on the doc's card. The number went to his poor wife's cell phone!

We (and by "we" I mean Zach, I could barely talk at this point, other than cries of pain) got the doc on the phone and aftering hearing about the pain (and the fact that I could barely move my big toe) he told us to meet him at the office at 11:00 pm. His assumption was that the cast was simply too tight.

I felt terrible, but at least he thought it important enough to meet up with us in the middle of the night. We made it to the car, although I don't recall exactly how. The doc got the cast off pretty quick, and although there wasn't instant relief, it definitely felt better. As the doc got the x-ray machine ready (to make sure everything really was OK) Zach and I watched as my foot twitched itself back to regular blood flow. My ankle could barely hold up my foot for more than a few seconds, which I guess goes to show how fast atrophy really happens!

A few x-rays later, the doc decided that everything internally was ok (I think he was concerned we might have missed something from last week's fall). He played around with my toe again (which HURT!) and pressed on the bottom of my foot where I was feeling a lot of the pain the night before. He decided I probably had a little spot of internal bleeding/pooling there, which was causing the pain, but with lighter wrapping should take care of itself.

He VERY lightly rewrapped my foot, and re-did the cast. The cast is now only up to a little above my ankle (I think it looks like a big old boot) and with a lot less extra padding then he had added the last time. We were on our way by a little after midnight, with the extra precaution of a prescription for another round of antibiotics, just to be 100% sure.

Since then, the foot has been fine. A little tightness here and there, but no real PAIN.

Lesson learned, when your doc says you shouldn't feel pain, call the moment you do. You'll spare you and your doctor the nightmare of an 11 pm trip to the office!

Stupid Cripple Moment #1: The Scooter and I Bite the Dust

2010-05-24T14:29:00.003-05:00

Oh updates.. how I have neglected you, and with so much excitement, I don't know how I could!

So two weeks ago Wednesday (May 12th if you're keeping track) I was scooting my way out of Village Hall (where I work). As I was coming out something happened, I'd like to say that a bunny ran out in front of me, and in my efforts not to roll right over it, I fell, but I didn't. I can't even really tell you what happened. All I know is that before I knew it, I was falling. In that great, slow motion movie kind of way.

All I remember thinking was, "Oh Shit" and "Don't hit the foot!". I mostly landed in the grass, but my toes scrapped the sidewalk. A nice resident walking up helped me up, as did one of our Trustees who had walked out a few seconds before me. I was pretty sure I was totally fine physically, my ego, was probably another story.

I got to my car and had to catch my breath and my composure. Falling is always scary, but falling when there is NO way to catch yourself (other than your arms) is pretty terrifying. I was shaking like a leaf in my car, and finally realized that I had no idea if I had actually done any damage to myself. I hit my left (i.e. the injured leg's) knee on the ground (minor, although no bleeding scrape there). Then I wanted to check my toe. But I can't see my toes in my cast. Shit.

So what did I do? I whipped out my camera phone to take pictures of my toes and make sure all was well. It took a number of tries to get the angle right, but I finally confirmed that 1) I still had a big toe. 2) It wasn't bleeding. BUT 3) I had scraped off quite a bit of the toe nail on my big toe in the process. Uh oh.

Once I was pretty sure nothing really hurt, I called my husband. After a good laugh about my fall (I must admit, it was pretty damn funny), we confirmed that I should continue with my afternoon and not call the doc quite yet. If I had any major pain or bleeding, then we'd call. Otherwise, the hubs would check out the toes in the evening and see what he thought.

Upon inspection, we decided to call the doc in the AM, just to make sure. After all, the doc did say to call if you had any falls, and frankly this was kind of a doozy. Upon the report of a fall, the nurse immediately made me an appointment for that afternoon. Evidently they take that stuff seriously.

After a little ribbing upon my arrival, the doc did x-rays, and confirmed what I suspected, everything was fine. Crisis averted.

Or should I say, one crisis down, a few more to go. This whole being without a foot thing, is pretty rough.

Post Surgery Update: Lessons Learned So Far

2010-05-10T18:16:00.002-05:00

Ok, so it has only been a little over a week, but I feel I've learned a few important lessons so far, and here they are:

1) People are really nice and will offer to help you when you look pathetic. My boss even met me at the front door of our building and parked my car for me when it was raining earlier this week. Don't try to play too cool for help, take it when it is offered!

2) Personal injury is really a great conversation starter. That probably sounds bad, but seriously, people who I see every day but don't know well, will have full on conversations with my about my foot problems when they see the cast. And it seems, almost every woman I know has foot problems, or at least knows someone else who does. Guys on the other hand, just want to know about the scooter. If they can try it, we'll probably be friends for life.

3) Shower chairs (at least for an injury) are a TOTAL RIP OFF. We went to CVS looking for a shower chair and only found $70 versions. You know what also works well? A plastic patio chair, and at $10 that was still probably a rip off, but we didn't want to bother with another store. And I am happy to report, the chair works perfectly! (Also purchased were a handheld shower unit and a cast cover, each $20). Although $50 worth of stuff just to shower seems stupid, it is 100% worth it not to have to take another bath. Baths are only fun when you don't have to actually clean yourself in them.

4) Knee Walkers/Roll-A-bouts, or my "Scooter" as it is lovingly referred to, are the best invention ever. I love my scooter. I can get around, avoid crutches and it is even kind of fun. Not to mention it is a great conversation starter with total strangers who are always amazed by your awesome device. I'm like a one-woman advertisement, but seriously, I'd be 10 times as miserable right now if I had to use crutches.

5) Repeat the mantra, "It will be over before I know it." Especially when I've once again forgotten something I need all the way upstairs. A good sense of humor, and a great husband (or other helper) are key to a smooth recovery. If you feel bad for yourself all the time, your recovery period will totally suck. You've got to do what you can, and ask for help when you can't. Even though it feels like the longest time ever (I know my days on the couch felt like a week, and they lasted 5 days.) it really is just a blip in your life. Hopefully a blip that will make the rest of life easier with a pain free foot!

6) The movies are wonderful. ADA accessible, and if you get their early, you can put your foot up on the railing in the front row and life is good! We're not usually big movie goers, but man, being out of the house and feeling minorly social felt FANTASTIC!

Post Surgery - Day 7

2010-05-07T09:55:00.002-05:00

Well, it is officially 1 week since my surgery! A week ago right now I was just waking up in the recovery room...

My foot felt decent when I got home last night, and I had a lot more energy than the previous night (as in, I didn't just fall asleep on the couch!). I haven't been taking any of the pain meds since last Tuesday morning, so I think that is a great sign!

I know it sounds odd, but I'm a little concerned that having my foot up so much is giving me bad (or maybe I should say worse) posture! As I sit here at my desk trying to keep my foot up on my CPU, I keep finding myself slouching over to one side of my chair. I think it is mostly because I am NOT flexible, and actually keeping my foot up pretty much feels like a constant stretch if I'm sitting up straight. I really should have kept up with those yoga classes... they were making me much more stretchy and helping with my back strength. That would be awfully helpful right now!

Zach and I talked about possibly going to a movie with some friends this weekend! I don't know why, but the idea of getting out of the house and doing something fun (other than work) has gotten me VERY excited. I guess that's what I get for being couped up in the house for a week straight. The only downside is that I won't really be able to sit up in the riser area of the theatre, given my bum foot, and I really prefer that area over the flat part at the front. :( Small price to pay to get out of the house though!!

Post Surgery Update - Days 5 & 6

2010-05-06T09:03:00.002-05:00

Day 5

I decided it was time to head to work. I woke up way earlier than necessary (I wasn't sure how long it would take to get ready!) and headed in to work a little early. I was feeling good to go and happy to get dressed in normal clothes and getting out of the house!!

Driving was a little difficult in the cast. Even though the cast is on my left foot, it was tough to find a position to sit my foot that wasn't awkward.

Getting to work all the ladies at the front desk were fascinated with the Turning Leg Caddie. Basically, it is a scooter with a platform for my knee and not my foot. I can rest my knee on it comfortably and not need crutches. I love it. I told the whole story for the first of about a dozen times that day and I was on my way upstairs.

Up in the office I quickly got the nickname "Scooter". My boss can't help but chuckle every time he sees the scooter. I won't lie, it is pretty amusing.

Trying to find a position to lay my foot and keep it up was a bit trying. I tried getting the caddie under my desk, but it didn't really sit right. Currently my CPU is a decent leg rest, as is the top of my desk. Either case though, I end up sitting a little funny to accommodate the position. Hopefully I won't end up hurting my hips or knees with the strange positioning.

I made it through the day, but it was definitely a little rough. My foot was definitely swollen when I got home and I was quickly told to get on the couch, get my foot up and relax. Which I did. We ate dinner and I fell asleep on the couch. I guess I was more tired then I thought!

Day 6

Back at work again, but questioning if it will be a full day. My foot definitely feels more swollen today, likely as a result of my day yesterday. I'm keeping it up and trying my best. We shall see how the day goes!

I can safely say I'm already really sick of how long it takes to do ANYTHING that involves moving. I'm used to getting around quickly and getting stuff done, and I just can't do that now. Hopefully after a few more weeks I'll have the energy to actually do some stuff at home, but right now, getting ready, getting to work, working and getting home is about as much as I can handle! Feeling useless was something I didn't really prepare myself for.

Post Surgery Update!

2010-05-04T10:12:00.002-05:00

Post Surgery Day 2

The second day post surgery was much like the first, but Z's mom came to visit and brought soup and some yummy rubarb dessert! It was nice to have someone come to visit, and I think Z liked seeing someone other than my smelly self! The doctor called (or was that Saturday?) and said that my toe still being numb was ok, sometimes it takes up to 36 hours. Well, right around 36 hours I started feeling it, and it hurt!

Oh yeah, and Zach had a lesson, which meant I decided I needed to move up stairs for the first time to avoid being an ugly smelly piece of furniture during his lesson. Moving upstairs meant my smarty pants decided to hop all the way upstairs, which was a stupid idea that really hurt my foot. Since then I've been scooting up the stairs, which is a much better option.

We finally decided to move up to the bedroom to sleep tonight as well. I'm not certain if I slept better or not, but Zach definitely slept better! I am still waking up at 3 to take my anti-inflammatory meds and pain meds.

Post Surgery Day 3 - First Follow-Up!

Monday was my first follow-up day with the doctor! In honor of leaving the house, I decided I should be cleaned. Zach helped me upstairs, we wrapped my foot/wrapping up in a garbage bag and lowered my stinky self into the tub. It was an odd way to bathe, with one leg stuck out of the tub, but it felt good to feel a little cleaner! It was pretty exhausting though.

We headed to the doctors in the afternoon and got to see my foot for the first time! It looks pretty crazy! The whole thing was pretty swollen, and there was quite the line of staples down the two incisions. I got some x-rays of my foot and the doc said all was well. After taking all the bandages off, my poor foot got a few minutes of fresh air before it got wrapped back up. And then it was a full cast! This is my first full cast (it goes up to under my knee) and it is HEAVY! It definitely is very warm as well, which means I have a constantly HOT foot, something I HATE. I still haven't tested the cast with pants, I'm terrified I won't be able to fit pants over my casted foot (The cast is BIG on my foot). Although skirts are always an option (without nylons though, given that I could only nylon up one leg!) I'm a little nervous about the skirt/scooter option. That and the reality that I need my leg up whenever possible, and that and a skirt could mean flashing people unnecessarily!

Post-Surgery Day 4 - Relax/Light Work

I let my work know I'd do my best to make it in to the office on Wednesday, and that I'd be at home trying to work a little on Tuesday. I've started a little work so far, and it is very difficult to concentrate.

The pain today isn't too bad... I took my last 1/2 pain pill some time this morning, I think something like 8:00 or so this morning. I guess it's only 10:30, so that doesn't really mean much hey? :) I'm loosing track of when I took what, which I guess is ok, given that I'm not in sooo much pain that I can't wait for the next one!

Overall I'm most surprised about how difficult it really is to get around. I knew it would be a pain, but I didn't realize how much energy it would take to lug around this cast and wheel around the house. The scooter is definitely better than crutches. My arms hurt from just scooting my butt up and down the stairs a few times yesterday, I can't even imagine how bad they'd hurt if I was using crutches! Still though, maneuvering around with the scooter is tough. Just getting up a few times is pretty exhausting, and having my foot below my heart still hurts and is very distracting. I'm not sure that driving right now is the best idea, and I'm a little scared that tomorrow might be rough still too! Hopefully I can try out a little driving this evening or something, and see how it feels.

Post Surgery - Day 1

2010-05-01T12:30:00.002-05:00

Today, Saturday, I awoke still not in any major pain. I can feel the wrapping, it makes my leg feel very heavy (it goes up to under my knee) and I can feel a few of my small toes (Zach tried touching them) but as of 8:00 this morning, I can still barely feel my big toe, or the largest small toe. That makes me a little scared, I'm really hoping that doesn't mean there was nerve damage or anything.

Zach had music lessons today (9:30 am - 1:00 pm) which means he's gone until 2:00 pm or so. It's about 12:37 pm at the moment, and my foot still doesn't really hurt at all. The wrapping feels tight, but that's about it. I'm eating, I feel fine, the pain meds aren't making me too loopy (I can at least read, watch TV etc, which I couldn't last time!). Things are good.

My only current worry is that there is nerve damage or something. It is over 24 hours since I left the surgical center, and I'm still numb in my big toe (or I was at 8 am) I'm going to check with Zach again when he's home in an hour or so. I might also do a little internet research. I can't say I mind the lack of pain, but a little pain is worth a lifetime of FEELING in two toes!! I can't really feel the incisions yet either. I can definitely feel my heel, my leg and my little toes, but those were all locations where no work was done. If there was going to be nerve damage, it would be in the places I can't currently feel!

Surgery Day!

2010-05-01T12:01:00.003-05:00

Greetings from the other side! I was already through foot surgery once 10 years ago. I hated every minute of it, it was the most painful experience in my life. Suffice to say, knowing what I was getting in to again, I wasn't thrilled with the concept of going back for more. But I did.

Surgery Day

Surgery was scheduled for 7:30 am on Friday. I had to be at the surgical center at 6:30 am. I couldn't eat of drink after midnight. I ate dinner at about 10:00 pm and had my last glass of water as I went to bed at 10:30 or 11. We were up at 5:00 am for my last regular shower for at least a month and then the drive to the center.

Once at the center, everything went pretty smoothly. We checked in, filled out a few final pieces of paperwork, waited in the waiting room for about 5 minutes, and then they came over to take me back to get ready. I had to put on the terrible little "hospital dress" which was as ugly as always, take my pregnancy test and get settled to wait. All the nurses were amazingly nice and helpful. I got to met my anesthesiologist, and heard the plan for getting me through. I would be doing "twilight sleep" meaning I might very well wake up during surgery, but would likely not remember much.

The nurse came in to put in my IV, in what she said were "little veins". That all went fine and I was hooked up to my IV with antibiotics started. We waited a little longer for the doc to show (I think he was running a little late!). Him and another doctor came in, which would be assisting him in the surgery. Both were nice and making jokes, which was nice. Once they were there, I was whisked back to the operating room where they got me moved to the surgical bed and got me hooked up. The anesthesiologist got me started on the stuff to knock me out, and I was OUT. I remember waking up a few times. I remember saying I was cold and trying to stay awake, but wasn't very successful. I know I heard some mechanical noises (maybe a drill or some screwing?) but went right back to sleep.

Back in the recovery room I woke up pretty quickly. Taking one look at the clock I realized we were running a little behind and asked the nurse to go tell my hubby everything was ok. I know he was probably out there worrying about me!

They took quite a bit of my monitoring devises off. Then they offered me water. I've never been so excited about getting something to drink in my life! The nurse mentioned my eyes lit up when I saw the glass... I was SOO thirsty!! The not eating before the surgery was fine, but the next drinking was KILLER for me. I usually drink a lot of water, so it was rough for me.

They kept me in the recovery room for about an hour, and the anesthesiologist and doc visited me. All went well, except evidently the old screw in my toe was a b**tch to get out. They actually had to drill around it a little, and then use some needle nose pliers to twist it out. Otherwise things went well. They gave me some prescriptions and directions, and I actually remember them!

The eventually wheeled me out in a wheelchair to my waiting husband and quickly I was in the car and on my way home (it was roughly 11 am)! Zach dropped me off at home and went to get my drugs and some jell-o. We got my foot up on the couch, and the animals came to smell what was going on with my foot. Once Zach was back, I hit up the jell-o and some pudding to see if I could keep some food down. SUCCESS! Given the failure last time I had surgery, I was thrilled to be able to eat. Next we hit up the soup, and decided to take the antibiotics and anti-inflammatory, to see if I could keep it down. SUCCESS!

I thought they said the numbing agent would last 8 - 12 hours (but now I'm thinking it was 8 - 24 at least!) I followed all the directions I got (foot up, ice 20 minutes of every hour, take the meds, eat). The nurses said following the directions should make the numbing agent last longer. I would have done anything she said!!!

Around 7 pm I had the hubby make some dinner (frozen bertoli pasta in a bag) and scarfed down some food. Once again, no sickness!! We decided to split one of they hydrocodone I was sent home with, to see if I could keep it down. Once again, SUCCESS! I figured the numbing agent would start wearing off soon, so I decided to take 1/2 a hydrocodone every 4 - 6 hours (in accordance with the directions, but they actually recommended the full pill). I eventually fell asleep on the couch around midnight, still with a numb ass foot. I woke up at 3 to take the next anti-inflammatory and another pain pill. Foot still number, life was gong well! :)

Appreciating Time...

2010-04-21T09:55:00.003-05:00

I spend a lot of time dwelling on the future. I'm a planner, always have been, always will. Sometimes I think I actually enjoy planning things more than I even enjoy doing them.

I have a vary difficult time "living in the moment". I put it in quotes mostly because I don't even really know what that means to me. I'm here, I'm living, but am I "in the moment"? Probably not. My mind is usually racing to the next thing I need to do, I'm often a few steps ahead of myself. The things I need to do now? Not too interested. I'm busy planning the next vacation, the next week or the next project. Sometimes it's a miracle I get anything done.

A few years ago I took a little training seminar for work, and one of the first sessions was about time management. At first I didn't think it could mean much to me, but for my personal life I think it could be very meaningful.

I think a lot of people are familiar with the concept of putting your money towards things you value, kind of a "put your money where your mouth is" type idea. In the same respect, I think I need to start focusing on putting my time where my mouth is. (Time is money right?!)

Realistically, on a typical week, I probably spend at least 20 hours watching TV, including weekends. Some of it, is watching shows I love, but the vast majority of it is just mindless TV. Of course some level of relaxation is good, but I think I'm way past that. There are things I want to do with my time! Craft projects to pursue, family to visit, shopping to do! All that TV watching is really getting in the way. Yet somehow, I get home and I plop myself down on the couch and watch TV for 3 hours a night and suddenly, it's bed time. What a waste of life.

I wasn't always like this, I swear. I spent College working a part (almost full) time job and easily finished all my school work. I when through Grad School with a 20+ hour a week job, no problem. When I have had a million things that simply HAVE to get done, I make it happen. I know it sounds crazy, but working 40 hours a week and having all this "spare" time is really making me lazy.

Looking at the numbers, 20 hours!? of shitty TV?!, really makes me think of all the work I could be doing in that time. I could have had a million projects completed in those hours, hundreds of dollars in crafting projects (well, if I actually sold them), tons of wonderful meals cooked, books read, hours of quality time, you name it.

That's it... I'm going to put my time where my mouth is and stop being so damn lazy. As Nike would say, Just Do It! I'm not sure how that is supposed to sell me shoes... but whatever. :)

Weddings are Dangerous...

2010-01-28T13:33:00.002-06:00

So I haven't written here in well... forever it seems.

The wedding has taken over my life (well, at least my non-work life) and eaten my spare time up with projects and planning. It probably doesn't help that we decided in December that we were going to get married in a few months. By a few months, I mean February 13th. Oh yeah, and plan a 12-day Mediteranean Cruise with a Parisian side trip to boot. Yeah, I'm nuts.

That is a lot of planning to do in like basically 2 months. It seemed like a long time when I started, but it has gotten away from me very quickly. Early on I created a little breakdown of the tasks that would need to be accomplished each week. The lists have gotten longer, but having only 2 months really teaches one to prioritize. It also kept my crazy ideas in check. Our invitations were awesome handmade little works of art. They took a lot of time and energy, but given that our guest list is 25 people we love, it was 100% worth the effort.

Last weekend my mom and I made a bouquet for me and a corsage for Z out of all vintage flowers. I must say, it is pretty awesome.

I'm still mulling over doing some type of a handmade "favor". I hate the word "favor". Given that we're down to two weekends, it might not happen. I'm still not over the idea though.

Unfortunately, all the time I've spent wedding/honeymoon planning has left virtually NO time for other types of planning. Like business planning, and craft planning.

I can't wait for the wedding, and I can't wait to have some time to plot and plan some of my business ventures after that. We've got quite a bit of downtime on the ship during our vacation, and I'm hoping to spend some of that doing some business brain storming.

I'm hoping to set up some business goals for 2010 and actually meet them. Secretly, I'm hoping that some day I'll find myself working from home full-time doing crafty stuff I love. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do now. It just doesn't fulfull the creative side of my life, and I love that more.

Combining Finances....

2009-09-29T13:48:00.004-05:00

Sucks.

I shouldn't say that... the end result won't really suck, but I can safely say the process if not much fun. It's awkward and uncomfortable... but I guess it's necessary.

You see, I have always been a very independent person. In the last few years I had develop quite the little budgeting system for myself, which included a list of what bills get paid by which paycheck (I get paid every two weeks, so basically it came out to what gets paid the first half of the month and the second) and then how much money I had to do with as I pleased. Included in that was a plan to pay off all my credit card debit, save for vacations and save for a 6-month "emergency fund". Yes, I had actually started doing that! I was very proud of how far I had come. I knew exactly what I made, and I knew pretty much where every cent of it was going.

When Zach and I first started living together I paid "rent", which covered my half of the mortgage and other home related bills each month. When we went grocery shopping we'd split the bill, and at times we'd each just sort of cover it. It took some getting used to, but it worked.

Then earlier this year Zach and I decided to refinance the house and officially put me on the mortgage. (Isn't that sweet, at the time I didn't have a ring but I did have the 30-year mortgage commitment. Nothing says love like sharing major debt!) Then Zach and I decided to create a "household" checking account (Yeah, I know. We were just tipping our toe into the pool of joint finances). We added up all the "household" bills, including all the usual stuff and then added food and other household type supplies to the list. We figured out about how much each of us would pay towards this account, and so we each tried to do that. I did mine direct deposit (because my work makes that nice and easy and it makes the checking account free!). Zach would deposit when he could.

Here is where the trouble started. I worry about money, well, a lot. I check my checking account on-line every day (Except on vacation, but well, that is mostly because I don't generally have Internet access). I have spreadsheets that detail when debt will be paid off. I signed up for mint.com so I could see where all my money was going. Is it all a little OCD? Probably. But I spent a lot of time in my past feeling NO control over my money, and I hated that. I like knowing where it is going and knowing I'll have enough to pay all the bills all the time. Hence all the lists and spreadsheets and madness. It all gives me the sense of control over my money that I really need.

Well, when Zach and I joined forces, it was no longer that easy any more. Zach's current financial position is less constant than mine, so he gets money throughout the month at various times, including often just cash. Zach's money doesn't magically show up in the account (he has to actually deposit it) and I found myself having to remind him about depositing the necessary money for his half of the bills. I would worry he didn't have enough, but wouldn't want to tell me. It wasn't too bad though. There weren't too many "variables" because mostly, it was just the regular bills, food and household stuff (lots of trips to Target!) and I was still basically paying for most of my personal stuff myself, and frankly I had a lot of "extra" money to spend as I pleased. I could fairly easily see that we were generally on track for our joint stuff, and I had to make comfort with that fact.

Well, then, Zach went to what I'll call "full" unemployment. Meaning his dad's company wasn't paying anything and it was no longer paying any of the benefits it was before (health insurance and gas mainly). So our household now had more bills to pay and less to pay it with. It became increasingly obvious that combining financial forces was the only option to make ends meet at our house. So now we're in the process of just having a joint checking account, and paying all bills and everything out of the joint account.

Suffice to say all the work that goes into changing everything over to a new checking account is 0% fun. Virtually all my bills are on auto-pay, so I had to go back and switch them all over to the joint account to get paid. Zach is still in the process of doing the same. So far, only one bill didn't get paid on time because of the change over, which isn't too bad.

The bad part? I've lost all of my sense of happy money controlling security. I'm trying to spreadsheet my way to happiness with the joint situation... but so far I'm coming up pretty darn short. You see, we've learned here that Zach and I have been using two VERY different means to control our checking accounts.

Zach was using the, I pay each of my bills as the come in, and I generally have X amount sitting in my checking account. He liked writing out the checks for each bill, so he knew exactly where his money was going. As he told me, if the X amount was going up, he would throw some into savings, or pay off some extra credit card or other bills. Oh yeah, and Zach likes paying for everything in cash if he can. He likes having a lot of cash on him. That's just how he rolls.

I, on the other hand, used a system of auto-bill pay. Half of my bills were paid with the first paycheck of the month, the second half with the second paycheck and they all paid themselves. I marked on my google calender when each would come out, but that was it, I barely thought about that money at all. I knew I had X amount of each paycheck to spend as I saw fit for gas, clothing or whatever else I wanted. Rarely would all of X not get spent. You see for me, when there was money waiting around, I like to spend it on fun stuff. I already had a fairly aggressive debt paying off plan built into the bill paying, so I was comfortable with those and didn't feel a strong need to pay off more with my fun money. Man do I love spending fun money. Oh, and cash? I don't really like having cash on me. A little is fine, but more than $100 and I get uncomfortable. I like using my debit card so I can track where the money goes easily.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that these two money schemes aren't going to be very compatible. So how do we do it?

If you've got a good plan, let me know. :) We're still working through it. I think a lot of compromising is going to be in the schedule. For the moment we're reading "Smart Couples Finish Rich" which is a somewhat hokey book (You have to get past the idea that he has copyrighted half of the stupid gimmicky phrases he uses.) on I guess planning to become rich. I think you can imagine who purchased this book... but Zach seems in to the idea of getting us on the right track (and I think that getting rich part didn't hurt). It seems to have helped to foster some discussion about our joint financial situation and our joint financial future, which were both needed. I'll let you know how our progress goes!

A Little Move...

2009-09-23T09:32:00.001-05:00

In an effort not to bore people with all my wedding thoughts (unless they want to hear them) I've moved my wedding related blabbering over to another blog.

Check out http://lefthandedpartnersincrime.blogspot.com/ to view any and all of my wedding thoughts and mussings!

Please Explain

2009-09-16T09:42:00.000-05:00

Go take a look at this wonderful item listed on Amazon:

Amazon.com: Master Lock 7113D Cash Box with 7-Compartment Tray: Home Improvement

Now scroll down to the "Frequently Bought Together" portion. Can someone please explain why a lock box and black satin sheets are "frequently" purchased "together"?

Just thought I would share.

I'm becoming a statistic!

2009-09-15T16:29:00.003-05:00

Well... I guess I shouldn't say that it was inevitable... but it probably was. Tomorrow (I learned today because I'm in the boss' office!) my employer is announcing that all non-Union employees will be required to take 15 fulough days over the next 15 months.

I'm trying to focus on the positive. That is 15 days off! As an exempt employee (meaning I'm salaried and therefore not eligible for good stuff like overtime) that means 3 one week vacations over the next year and a half, which will come in handy with the wedding and what not coming up. I generally only have 2 weeks of vacation a year, so I've been stocking up on vacation days with the hopes of being able to use them in the upcoming year for the three time-off activities I had planed for next year (Paris, wedding and honeymoon!). I guess all that stocking away of days isn't really necessary now... I'll have plenty of time!

What won't come in handy? Um... 15 days less pay over the 15 months. That essentially amounts to a 5.8% reduction in pay, which I think means I'll make about as much as I was making when I started this job a year and a few months ago. It wouldn't be so bad if I was still stocking away all that money I was making off the raise (It was supposed to be my vacation savings!) but with Zach not bringing in as much right now, every penny I make is pretty much going towards our household expenses. I haven't really been saving a dime for wedding or other "fun" expenses, let alone the raining day fund I was hoping to begin. You know, that 6 months emergency reserve everyone is "supposed" to have, I was actually trying to do that! So much for that....

On the plus side, Zach has been doing really well with getting new students for his budding piano teaching business, and he is bringing in more money every week. Hopefully his new income should be able to replace my minor reduction.

Ok... I'm over it. I wanted to feel bad for myself for a second, and now I'm done. I am blessed to be employed right now given the economy, so I need to just get over it. I can still help support my little family, I can still pay the bills, and we still live a really GOOD life. I can't very well complain about that right?

I'll just consider this God's way of telling me to get a little more crafting in. I guess I'm going to have more time for Squirreled Away business adventures...

Now That is Love...

2009-09-11T09:15:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I had the joy of going in for a minor medical test and Zach got to be my "designated driver". Suffice to say that the procedure involved me not being able to eat for basically 1 1/2 days and required the consumption of some less then fun liquids to help clean things out. It hasn't been the most enjoyable few days of my life, but it made me realize how my Zach loves me.

As we were driving the the hospital he said he had a tough time sleeping the night before because he was so worried about me. In fact he was still a bit of a nervous wreck on the way there... he was more nervous than I was! Then, as I was waking up post-procedure, as soon as my eyes were open he said, "I'm not letting you close your eyes in here again!" On the way home he confessed that it was pretty scary seeing me all passed out and hooked up to tubes and such. "Not exactly an easy way to see you," he said.

Then, if those first few pieces of adorableness weren't enough, he cleaned up my mess when I managed to get sick all over the living room floor after my first attempt to eat solid food failed. No questions asked, no gross faces, no comments, nothing, he just quickly cleaned up the situation and went on about his business.

Now that is love.

I love you Zach! Thank you for being there for me, it means the world. :)

Wedding Things I'm excited about.... Installment #1

2009-08-24T16:20:00.005-05:00

Ok, after my rant I thought it might be good to start thinking about what wedding related items I might actually be excited about, since there are a few.

#1 - Paper Goodies - I love paper and I love paper products. What I REALLY love is letterpress, but my wallet does not agree with my love affair. When I bought my Gocco I was convinced that would be how I would create my invitations (or whatever it is we end up doing). After a few minutes and a goggle search for "Gocco wedding invitations" I'm quickly reminded of the wonders of the Gocco and how much fun it would be too produce something wonderful for the wedding with it. Now if I could just remember to actually purchase some more supplies before they run out....

#2 - Dress Shopping - Although I am a little terrified at the idea of shopping for a dress in a BRIDAL store (where they all cost too much and look beautiful). I am not at all scared of shopping for a dress. I'm thinking shopping for a off-white dress in a non-bridal store, might be best for me. That way I can avoid all the pushy sales people and just shop at my own pace. Now if only Anthropologie would start making wedding dresses...

#3 - The Honeymoon! - I love me a good vacation, so I'll take any excuse in the book to go on one. Zach and I have already been on 3 lengthy vacations (Dominican Republic for a friend's wedding, Vegas/California and our recent trip to New Orleans/Mexican Cruise) so this is by no means our first trip away together. We know each others quirks and limits and we know what we like. Each vacation we've taken we've learned a lot about ourselves and I think they've always brought us closer. I am sure that this vacation will be no different! I am just trying to fight the urge to make this "the" vacation and spending a boat load on it. We'll have other vacations!

Wow, I'm happy to report 3 things I'm actually excited about for the wedding. I know that 3 things isn't exactly a ton, but it is something right?

I'm a Deadbeat Bride

2009-08-19T15:11:00.006-05:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about my pending nuptials. It has been almost a month already, and I’m starting to get the distinct feeling that my time for not having a wedding plan is running out. In all my thinking, a certain Sex and the City episode keeps running through my head. In it, Carrie gets engaged to Aden, and she is trying to get in the bridal mode. She even goes so far as to try on gowns and ends up getting a rash. In her little “inner monologue typing” she says,

“As progressive as our society claims to be, there are still certain life targets we’re all supposed to hit: marriage, babies and a home to call your own. But what if instead of breaking out into a smile, you break out into a rash? Is it something wrong with the system or is it you? And do we really want these things, or are we just programmed?"

I keep going back and forth between wanting a wedding and not wanting anything to do with it. In the days following my engagement I spent a few hours looking at possible locations and possible ideas and I just couldn’t even stomach the thought. A location that costs $3,000 just to rent? Then I have to pay even more for food and booze? I’m getting a little nauseous just at the thought of it. Of course you can go cheaper, but not for a place with any personality or pizzazz.

I know I already posted my idea of a tiny wedding at the Chicago Cultural Center and then a party at Ravinia. I’m still not 100% sold, but I’m getting closer every day. The Ravinia idea has its perks (and its costs) depending on how we did it, but I still think that would be a wonderful idea that would keep the pressure off of doing the typical “wedding” things. No cake cutting, no need for flowers or any of those other trappings. Unfortunately though, lawn seats for Ravina are at least $25 per person, and then if I actually catered food beyond that (yes, Ravinia does that), the price gets up there quickly. The idea of trying to cart in food and booze for even 50 people is a little daunting… although it could definitely be done if necessary.

I’m not going to lie and say there isn’t a little tiny part of me that worries I’m missing out on something by not doing a big production of a wedding. That some day I might regret not having a million formal pictures of me in a big white dress with the family. More often that not, those are pretty fleeting thoughts, and a pretty big “what if someday”. But right now, I’m not a big white dress girl. Zach and I don’t have any type of familial obligations that a lot of other people do. No one is pressuring us to have a big wedding, in fact a few of them have actually nudged us in other directions.

I guess I just have other priorities in my life than a wedding. What I really want is to be married and start living the “rest of my life” part. I dream of making my little craft business something worthwhile and Zach finding a job he loves, is happy in and provides us with enough (between the two of us) for financial stability. I dream of wonderful vacations and making our next house a real home before we have kids. I dream of having kids and being a loving, wonderful, supportive mom. What I don’t dream about is a wedding.

I was getting teary-eyed just writing that, but it is the truth. I dream of bigger and better things than a wedding. I dream of a wonderful, full and amazing life. I know that for a lot of people the wedding party at the beginning of that is a great kick-off, but for us it just isn’t right and I guess what I have to realize is that it is OK to want something other than what I’m “supposed” to want from a wedding.

Zach and I were talking about honeymoons (it’s the one area that he is really interested in!) and I mentioned something about wanting to do a helicopter tour if we went to Hawaii, “since it would probably be the only time we got to go there”. His response was, “Why would you say this is the only time we would go? Who’s to say we won’t be back?” It makes me happy to think that I have a partner who wants to go to Hawaii twice and more importantly provided me with the perspective that I want in this whole process. Who’s to say we can’t do any of this again? Plenty of people have vow-renewal ceremonies, hold big parties for anniversaries and the whole thing. This doesn’t have to be “the” wedding, party, dress, honeymoon etc. If I “regret” whatever choices we make now, we can just do them over in a decade or two.

Wow… this post is really lacking focus. Sorry about that. I tend to think things out through writing, which is exactly what I did here. I feel much better about doing our own thing now, whatever that might be.

I've Got A New Piece of Jewelry...

2009-07-31T13:49:00.004-05:00

I am happy to announce that Zach and I are officially engaged! He popped the question last weekend on a lazy Saturday afternoon around the house. He had initially planned to make a big deal out of it, but realized I would probably see that coming from a mile away. The true surprise was a much better plan. :)

Here's a picture of my lovely new bling:

Ok, now ever since I've gotten this thing (and I mean that with all the affection in the world) on my finger I haven't really been sure how to deal with it. I know that most girls want to scream from rooftops and stop strangers on the street to share the good news, but I'm not that type of girl. I love Zach and I couldn't be more thrilled that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, but broadcasting that to the world from every outlet available just seems like bragging. Is that bad? I feel a little sheepish telling people on my own, so I am thankful that I am surrounded by people who are more than willing the share the news for me. Don't get me wrong I am THRILLED, I just don't know how to tell people about something that really feels pretty personal.

I guess I better get over it though, since the "Did you set a date yet?" questions have started, and I'm sure will not stop until we get around to that date setting stuff. Maybe that is where my hesitiation really lies... Zach and I have already discussed that we will not be having a big traditional wedding. There will be not traditional ceremony, no church, no cake cutting, no big rubber-chicken reception. I guess knowing that makes me hesistant to share our potential plans because I know that there are a lot expectations about weddings and what they should and shouldn't be. I'm pretty sure that our plan will likely fall into the "shouldn't" category!

With that being said, here are our thoughts (or I should probably say really MY thoughts, with at least a nod of semi-approval from Z):

1) Wedding - I had initially thought Courthouse, but that just didn't seem right. A great happy medium? The Chicago Cultural Center does civil ceremonies for $10 (in addition to the usual marriage license fees) on Saturday mornings from 9 - noon. You have to register in advance, but you get to get married in what looks to be a gorgeous old building downtown! You can bring family and friends, but you might have to wait a little to get in the room with the judge. I must say I am pretty smitten with the idea... and it wouldn't be totally strange to have a friend of ours photograph the event so we have something to look back on. And, as Zach pointed out, we could have everyone go to our favorite restaurant, Marge's Still, for lunch afterwords.

2) A Wedding PARTY! - I refuse to refer to whatever we decide to do as a "reception" since it won't involve the usual trappings of that type of affair. An initial thought was a bar with bar food type party, but that isn't really as "us" as I would like and renting out a bar (even just a room) is EXPENSIVE! My second, and current, thought was Ravinia! Zach and I have some of our fondest memories at Ravinia (we even celebrated our first dating anniversary there!) and there is nothing better than hanging out on that lawn, listing to great music, drinking wine and enjoying yourself. There are a variety of options open to make a ravinia evening easier to manage for a decent sized group, including full tent parties down to just catering. If we were really ambitious, we could even just bring all the food ourselves! We're still trying to work out some of the details on this one (it could get pretty expensive too) but so far, I'm really like this idea!

3) HONEYMOON! - I'll be honest, this is the part we're really the most excited about. In fact, I think if it were up to Zach alone, it would be pretty much the only part :) We're still batting around a lot of ideas, must of which (at least for me) center around a cruise ship. I loved our cruise vacation back in February, and I can't wait to get back on another ship and set sail for multiple destinations in such a short period of time! My biggest problem is the "hell, it's our hoenymoon" why not!

Goal Work: Worrying Less and Being More Financially Savy

2009-07-06T14:47:00.003-05:00

I'm not going to lie, I haven't come up with some great solution to my ever present state of worry or the end to my financial woes.

I have however begun to let some of the little "worries" in my life go. Be prepared for a fairly un-interesting story to unfold :)

I love shopping, and even more than shopping I love a good deal. And as any good shopper does, I've signed up for about a million and one e-mail lists from my favorite places. Somewhere along the line I must have given them all my birthday too, so I was getting birthday cards and birthday sales all over the place last month. At the end of June, when a lot of those "birthday month" specials were expiring, I got very sad. I hadn't used a single one of my "birthday" specials! I seriously considered skipped my golf lesson (something I've already paid good money for!) to go visit Anthropologie to use a 15% of birthday coupon I got from them on the last day it was valid. Oh, should I also mention I don't really have any money to spend there anyways?

This isn't the first time I've had these types of thoughts. I frequently stop into stores because I have a coupon. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I'm 100% being douped. Those darn advertisers are just praying that my poor ass thinks that I have to get to the store to use my coupon. Like I somehow need more clothing, even though I don't have a clue what I'm actually going to purchase.

I don't like the idea that I'm not going to get these deals (let's be honest, in this economy, deals are piling up faster than a squirrel's winter nut pile) so I came up with an alternate solution. I've set my gmail filters to automatically archive, mark as read and label with "Shopping Deals!" anything that comes in from my shopping deal frequent flyers (At the moment that is Banana Republic, Gap and Crate and Barrel, I'll add others as they come in). That way, when I decide that I need something new I can go check out the folder and find some great deal.

I like simple ideas that work towards multiple goals of mine! I can 1) Stop worrying about NOT using good deals just because they are out there (since I won't even really see them!) and 2) I can save some money by not running out to use great deals on things I don't need but still have the deals for the times when I need them.

Consider yourselves douped evil coupon marketers...

Facebook... you've crossed the line.

2009-06-12T10:28:00.001-05:00

So I’m just minding my own business, checking my Facebook and what do I suddenly see to the right of my screen? The name of a less then friendly ex staring back at me from the “Suggestions” for friends column. Now I know how these things go, I know that in the past people who attended my high school or college, or know my friends might pop up on here and I honestly thought that was creepy enough. But this ex, I have no connections to this person whatsoever, we have not mutual friends, no mutual school attendance and no mutual interests. Hell, we don’t even live in the same state. So how, creepy lords at Facebook, did you make this crazy 5 year old “connection”?

One quick Google search later and I have my answer.

http://www.insidefacebook.com/2009/06/12/facebook-now-suggesting-friends-found-in-imported-contact-lists/#comments

Evidently, at some point I allowed Facebook to look through my address book for friends who might also be on Facebook. I assume this was when I just started out, although I don’t honestly remember it.

It seems that ever since that time, Facebook has been harboring that information, just waiting around for these people from my past to join Facebook and then suggest that I be friends with them. Although I appreciate the sentiment Facebook, I find you keeping my address book handy for all these years a little unsettling. It’s like a creepy stalker keeping a list of all the people I’ve ever talked to or something.

And even creepier? I think the stalker parallel is very appropriate since clearly you have been keeping an eye on my e-mail list all along, not just the list you saw when I first entered that information. I know for a fact that I didn’t start e-mailing my Pilates studio (who also showed up in my “Suggestions” this week) until WELL after I signed up for Facebook. So that is a new e-mail address, and evidence that although you mentioned in that nice page when I signed up that you wouldn’t be saving my e-mail password, you evidently did.

I like facebook, I like learning about what everyone else is up to, but I don't know if I appreciate Facebook pushing everyone in my e-mail address book on me. Just because I e-mailed you once doesn't really make you my "Friend" does it? I guess in Facebook land, it should.

Sometimes I can't help myself...

2009-05-26T18:28:00.000-05:00

I find all the discussion of Obama’s Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayer to be incredibly disheartening. Although I’m in full support of people questioning her credentials, questioning her past judgments and even questioning (to some extent) her religious convictions (since they often have an effect on one’s moral compass, which is an important tool as a judge.). What I do have problems with is the discussion of the efforts to “court” the future votes of Latin Americans here in the US.

Even Rush Limbaugh went so far today as to say that he doesn’t think that many Republicans will give this nomination the thorough screening that it needs because Republicans are so busy trying to get Hispanics to vote for them and they fear that holding up the nomination would hurt that.

Are we so dull in this country to think that people actually wouldn’t vote for someone because they questioned the credentials of a Supreme Court nominee? I’m not going to say that I have the utmost faith in the power of our country as a whole to pick the correct leaders all of the time. In fact, I’d probably saw we’re batting about 60% on leaders that should actually have the power to do what they do. That being said, I don’t really believe that the majority of the people would have ANY idea what their local reps and senators did on a particular issue, especially a Supreme Court nomination process. Please raise your hand if you know (without looking it up) what your senator or rep had to say about any previous nominee. No hands? That’s what I thought.

That being said, even if in some miracle universe where people pay very close attention to their elected officials actions, I don’t think the majority of them would vote one way or the other based solely on this issue.

As a woman, I was still adamantly opposed to George W. Bush’s ill-fated nomination of Harriet Miers for Associate Justice of the Supreme Court to replace Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. Using the current pundit thinking, I must just hate woman and I should probably somehow be disowned by all other woman for not support our cause. I also should hate every Representative or Senator who dared to speak against her. Yet, I don’t. In fact I would applaud them for taking the confirmation of this extremely important position as seriously as they should. I wouldn’t dare support a nominee based on such a random qualification as gender (or in this case race) without anything to back it up. If there is a woman on the bench, representing me and my interests, I want her to be the best damn Justice out there, not just a token woman to say they have one.

It is the job of our representatives to evaluate the candidates for this job with all of the scrutiny that they feel is necessary to make sure she is fit for this job. And I hope that they do scrutinize her and that she still passes through with (which I’m pretty sure she will). But don’t try and claim it is all just to pander to the Hispanic vote, that is an insult to Hispanics everywhere.

I'm a Re-Crafter...

2009-03-09T10:27:00.005-05:00

I've spent a lot of time and energy (not to mention money) on crafty things. My mom is probably the most creative person I know, even though she likes to pretend that anyone can do what she does. Sometimes she gets ideas from other people, but most often things come straight from her head. She is the queen of making an idea come to life. I really envy that trait of hers.

Me, I'm a "re-crafter" and yes, I totally made that term up. I can take things that exist and that I see elsewhere, and then I make them. Sometimes I can remake them better than the original, sometimes not so much. I've just recently realized this seems to be my artistic calling. I should have realized it much much sooner. My first big hope as an artist started because I thought I was really good at "redrawing" things from a Lisa Frank coloring book. Seriously, I was amazing at putting a piece of paper next to one of those drawings and redrawing it (and NO I don't mean tracing it). Yet, I could never just draw on my own from ideas in my own head. It would always turn out a mess.

One great example of this would be the cover of the Aaron Williams Band "special edition" CD I did this past summer. Blogger seems to be having some difficulties this morning, so I can't share pictures, but I'll add them later. I had the intial version of the CD, and we wanted to do a similar, although not completely identical screen printed version for the special edition. So I stared at it for a while, and eventually came up with a workable design by working with the medium of choice (Gocco scrreen printer). It turned out wonderfully! But it wasn't my original idea, and I surely couldn't have come up with it all on my own.

My current project is similar. I fell in love with some cool bottle cap magnets, jewlery etc. at the One of A Kind Show in Chicago last year. After a few months of thinking about it, I'm doing something similar, but with different images that I personally find a lot more appealing and intersting. I'm taking the best of what they did and making it my own.

I'm a Re-Crafter... and I'm proud of it.

Weather in Ashley's Brain: Cloudy with a Chance of Rain

2009-03-03T11:16:00.000-06:00

Today is one of those days where my brain can't seem to focus on any of the million and one tasks at my desk. I'm trying to muddle through some serious changes to one of our Union contracts, and it's like my brain is two steps behind my body. I'm here, I'm looking at the contract, but my brain can't quite seem to focus and figure out what it needs to do to get this thing done. Not to mention the million OTHER things I have floating around me... phone calls, e-mails, newsletters, questionable committee actions.... it makes me want to crawl under my desk and cry. Really mature hey?

I keep trying to come up with something more interesting to say about this... but it just isn't there. I guess that's how it goes when your brain isn't firing... I can't be witty or even come up with something productive to say. Other than, suck it up woman and quit your whining.

Well, that helped.

I'm a bad bad blogger...

2009-02-26T20:37:00.004-06:00

I know I'm terrible... I talk all about a vacation and then I disappear after it. Hopefully none of you got the postcards we sent to Zach's parents that said we were going to stay in Mexico, otherwise you might have actually believed it!

No no, we're back at home and I've been awfully busy with a variety of work and semi-work related activities. I'm busy drumming up crafty things to sell, so not work related but maybe new work related. I purchased a Klic-N-Kut, which is a super sweet computer operated paper/vinyl/chipboard cutter. I've had it a week, and so far it is awesome!! The software is a little difficult to deal with but I was up and cutting in a day, so I think that is pretty good. I'm hoping to use it make some cards and other goodies, as well as create some cool vinyl wall art stuff.

The Klick-N-Kut

I've got a lot of crafty ideas in the works... so far nothing that is actually done... but a lot in my head. Zach is gone pretty much all this weekend so I'm going to be crafting it up and hopefully have something to show for all my talk!

The first goal would be to actually create some things to be sold. My first "selling" goal would be the Fairy Festival at Monches Farm (Where my mom works in Wisconsin) which is held in August. I'm hoping to have some fairy goodies for the kids and their moms who show up at that event. I can't decide if it should be first or after that, but I want to create an etsy shop as well. A part of me would like to exhibit at the Renegade Craft Show in September, however that might be a little ambitious, especially with a $310 booth fee and the possibility of a terrible rain-out weekend (like last year!). Maybe I'll be ready for the Christmas one (not to mention the weather will be less of a threat since it is indoor!).

I'm pretty committed to this little venture... I'm plotting designing a logo and such right now and determining some of the packaging as well. I'm all about packaging... I know that is dorky but that's me.

I'll make sure to keep this updated when my ventures are more fully baked... I'm a little nervous about putting everything out on the Internet without it being sold by me or something... I know... totally lame. Maybe I will if your lucky... especially since no one reads this :)

If you need a good laugh...

2009-01-23T16:35:00.003-06:00

I highly suggest you check out the blog F**k You Penguin. You will die laughing, and if you don't well, I'd suggest you visit a doctor. Basically the site takes those million and one super cute animal chain e-mails you receive and berates the animals in them for their cuteness.

Below is a little gem from last week:

"First I thought this blue-footed booby was just doing a cute little dance, which is bad enough (personally, I can dance fucking circles around this loser). But it turns out this is a fucking mating ritual, which basically means dude is hitting on me.

But the fucked up thing is that these sexed-up douchebags do this sort of thing all the time. Take a look at this piece of work. Does she even know you are videotaping her, Romeo? Then halfway through, he invites his goddamn friends over! She's having none of it, of course, which is why a minute in she pees right where he wanted to do it! TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING SLIMEBALL."

Is it totally unnessesary? Of course it is. But it also made me laugh out loud at my desk on a day when I was a bit stressed and that is simply priceless. Go check it out, and if you have a Google Reader, I highly recommend you subscripe to it because it is a great way to start the day.

Some thoughts about today...

2009-01-20T12:37:00.002-06:00

Jenna over at That Wife raised some interesting questions regarding Obama's inauguration today. In short she said, "If we turn Obama into “The Black President” and judge all his successes and failures as those of the black man who once ruled the free world, are we really living “The Dream”?" The more I thought about it, the more it plagued me, and the more I felt compelled to respond. Below is my response, with some more thoughts added once I moved it here:

I think it is silly of us to think that the media isn’t going to have a field day with anything that is a “first”. They look for any angle they can to exploit, and Obama’s race is just that angle. Remember, if it is “historic” than we all have to watch it, and that means ratings for them!! It would be the same thing had it been Hillary (she’s a woman!) and it would have been something similar had it been McCain/Palin (he (I think) would have been the oldest, and she the first woman VP). When there is only 44 of something, you can find a “first” pretty easily, and they sure will.

In the same respect, I think it would be inappropriate to not acknowledge that him being President does indicate that our country has come a LONG way… it wasn’t too long ago that someone like Barack Obama would have had to sit at the back of the bus and couldn’t have eaten at the same places as you and I, him being President would have been a joke. That now his is President, says a lot about us as a nation and how far we have really come. Just because you and I may not judge him based on the color of his skin, doesn’t mean a lot of other people (both past and present) do. It is just nice to know that enough of us have gotten past that to elect him President.

I think unfortunately, the media has really latched on to the “historic” stuff and not focused on his policies as much as they should have. To imply that many people who voted for him did so only because of his race and not because they believe strongly in what he has to say and where he wants to take this country, is just plain inappropriate. Are there people who did so? Of course. In the same light, there are likely people out there who voted for McCain only because they wouldn’t support a black President. Did you ever notice that the news media always talks to the person on the scene who is probably the LAST person they should talk to? The always sound goofy, and never have much to really add? I feel like that is how the media has covered Obama voters. Like we're a bunch of sheeple who didn't bother to look past his race to see what he stands for (For the record, some of us did, and we actually liked what we heard!). Hopefully for ALL of us, the majority of us voted with our thoughts, morals, ideas and goals in mind and not just with our eyes.

We all have to find the balance between celebrating the fact that he is the first African American President and the fact that he is our President, our leader and hopefully the one to get us through a seriously trying time in our nations history.

Kennedy was once celebrated as the first Catholic President, but he is judged by history for his actions, not his religion. Let’s hope Obama will be looked at similarly. I think when that is the case, we will finally be living “The Dream.”

It seems almost all great changes generally come in steps, and Obama’s election was one of the steps to get us all to the ultimate goal of true equality, and that does deserve some level of celebration. You'd celebrate your engagement before you were actually married right? I think all the steps that get us to the things we aspire to be (both personally and as a nation) deserve recognition and appreciation. This should be no exception.

I can't wish the Obama administration enough luck and courage in these comeing 4 years. Whether you agree with him or not, he faces an uphill challenge bringing this nation back from the brink. Let's hope he can live up to everything he has promised.

Cruise Preparation

2009-01-08T19:50:00.004-06:00

We'll be in a room very similar to this (complete with portholes) very soon!!

Zach and I will be heading out on our Carnival Cruise from New Orleans in a few short weeks! In fact, we have just two work weeks left and we are going to be out of here!!! I have been ploting what we'll be doing on our two port days (Cozumel and Progresso) and what we will do on our weekend in New Orleans before we leave on the ship. Sometimes I think that the Internet is really more dangerous than helpful as I can spend hours learning about a million more bits of information than I would ever need about all of the locations above. In fact, sometimes I think it makes me worry more about what I might miss than what I'm actually going to do!

In addition to all of the planning that I've done in preparation for the many places we will visit, I have also been plotting what exactly we will be bringing with us. My luggage arrived earlier this week (and is AWESOME by the way) and I've started a fairly serious wish list on Amazon for all the books I want, including some Sudoku books, a few to read and a guide book about New Orleans. I've got to have something to do on the plan before we go as well as on the boat when I'm lounging right? When we went to the Dominican, I think I brought like 3 books and managed to read, ah, maybe one. Not to mention I plan to bring some knitting with me as well, which probably has a much better chance of actually getting done (as long as they don't confiscate my needles when I try to get on the plane!).

My dog a gimp!

2009-01-05T15:17:00.004-06:00

Poor Rigby! On Saturday, while doing his usual in the house ball fetching, Rigby ran into the wall/door molding outside our bathroom door. Zach was playing with him, saw the hit and the following doggy limping/whining. I heard the whining and instantly thought the worst (see, there goes the worrying again...) and ran to see what was the matter. Poor puppy was sitting there looking awful pathetic with his paw up in the air and whimpering. Zach and I both started to try and calm the little bugger, which seemed to help. After a few minutes it became clear that it probably wasn't broken, since he is more than willing to let us poke and massage his paw/arm with no whimpering or whining. Yet, he has been seriously limping and not using that front right leg ever since. He spent most of the rest of the weekend napping on the couch with us, only getting up occassionally to eat, pee, play with the cat a few times and try and get us to play ball with him a couple times before giving up and coming back to nap.

We are fairly certain it isn't broken... we've done a lot of handling of his leg/paw and aren't getting any reaction. I would have to think if it was broken, he'd be reacting when we touched it. However, if it is a sprain, what do you do for a doggy leg sprain? I assume a lot of rest... which has pretty much been the ticket so far. I have read you can give them asprin in really small doses, but I worry that if it feels better he'll start walking on it, and obviously I can't exactly explain to the dog that since it feels better he can't run around on it. The crazy in me wants to take him to the vet pronto, but my wallet is urging otherwise. I can only imagine what the vet bill will be after an exam and x-ray... not that Rigby's health is more important that my money (at least up to a point...) but I would hate to go through all of that only to have them tell me there is nothing we can do! Does that make me a bad pet mom?

Becoming more financially savy... Step 1

2009-01-02T11:46:00.009-06:00

Wow... it is only January 2nd and I've already made some progress on my "hopes for 2009", I am so proud of myself. I guess me and the million people who went to the gym this morning... :)

Yesterday, when I was filing away some of seemingly never ending piles of receipts, bills and other paperwork I always have sitting around, I got to thinking about just how much of this stuff I actually need to keep. I have pay stubs from all the way back to 2001. I also have credit card statements from roughly that same time period. All of which are shoved into two big file boxes, one of which I can currently barely close. As Zach wandered in to see what I was doing, I started asking him if he know what I actually needed to keep, and low and behold all we both knew was that if it was tax related, it should be kept for 7 years. Other than that, we were clueless.

So this morning, I asked my friend Google what he thought, and he sent me over to bankrate.com, which had a great answer you can find here: http://www.bankrate.com/brm/news/mtg/20000518h.asp.

Suffice to say, I can probably throw out about 7/8 of what I have been hauling around with me for years. I can't wait to go home and spend the night clearing out that clutter and reminiscing about all the stupid purchases I made during my time as a Boston Store purse seller. I think the justification was something like, I get 25% off though, how can't I buy another Coach purse I don't need? Now if only my paper shredder was working properly....

In addition, I went on-line to a majority of my bills (credit cards, phone etc.) and signed up for paperless billing. Since everything is already set up to pay automatically for me, it seems silly to get statements, only to toss them a month later. Less paper for me to deal with, and better for the environment to boot!

On a less financially savy note.... I ordered a new set of luggage for our upcoming cruise! :)

I could try and justify that I actually "needed" it, but it would pretty much be a big lie. My old set of luggage, which is listed on one of the aforementioned Boston Store bills that will be shredded, is neon pink, I mean hurts your eyes pink. (When my luggage missed its connecting flight once, the lady at the counter pulled out a card with various luggage fabric swatches on it, suffice to say my obnoxious pink was not on it.) It has seen better days, and actually on our last vacation had the zipper pulls sheared right off of it. Not to say I couldn't make it work, but to be honest I was just really over the pink (and honestly I think Zach was sick of having to be seen with me and it too). I got the beautiful set pictured above, which features an easy to find on the luggage carousal Fleur De Lis pattern on a red background. A little more adult than the previous pink set, to say the least. I am sooo excited, and it was on sale at overstock.com, so how could I go wrong? And with $1.00 shipping for this big old set, I couldn't say no. Have I mentioned I can justify almost any purchase? That's probably something for another financial entry...

Change.. one step at a time

2009-01-01T21:40:00.003-06:00

I've never really been a fan of New Year's Resolutions, but I feel somewhat compelled to make some changes in my life, and the start of 2009 seems like an appropriate time to do so. I'm not going to refer to them as "resolutions" since I don't want to be like all the gym goes who quite their resolutions by February. My hope is to use this blog to chronicle the progress on these changes throughout the next year. I like to think if these ideas are out in cyberspace somewhere it will make me accountable. (I do recognize this is all in my head, since I doubt my non-existent readership will be clamoring for updates, but hey, a girl can dream.)

So, without further ado, my hopes for 2009.

1) Read More - Ok, I know this isn't very exciting, and will not likely provide some great amusement for this blog, but I always loved to read, and every time I read a book for pleasure I am reminded how much I love it. With that, any suggestions?

2) Blog More - I used to use livejournal a lot, and really enjoyed writing about my life. It might not be Paris Hilton style antics, but I think I've got something to share. I love reading other blogs, and I hope that I can provide some amusement as well out in the blogosphere.

3) Become more financially savy - I am 25 years old and I think it is about time that I start thinking more strategically about how I spend my money. I know I do a fairly good job, but I think there is always room for improvement.

4) Start an Etsy Store - I've always been somewhat crafty, and I would love to be able to provide myself a little extra income (see goal above!) by creating something I love. Ideally, I would love that to turn into something full time, but I'm not exactly holding my breath. Real employment does have it's perks (like health insurance!).

5) Clean House - I have a TON of stuff in my life. I mean, Hello Kitty paper, pencils and stickers that I've never used and have been trucking around with my since middle school, kind of stuff. I used to find some odd comfort in this stuff but now it is starting to feel like extra dead weight. E-bay here I come! I'm still struggling with the memories stuff... things from High School etc. But that is for another day.

6) Learn my way around the kitchen - I'm not bad at cooking but I'm not great. I'm a stickler for recipes, since I'm terrified that I'm going to screw things up otherwise. I need to get over that. I had my first big baking adventure (for another post) but it turned out wonderfully!!

7) Knit Christmas gifts - I always PLAN to do this (and I actually did for 3 people) but I want to do more. I love knitting, and if I start now I should easily be able to do this without the stress around the holidays!

8) Learn to worry less - I worry a lot. I worry about big things (employment, money etc.) but I also worry about a million and one stupid things which constantly stop me from enjoying my life. I wake up on vacation worried that we are missing valuable vacation time because we were sleeping. I spend time at a party worrying about when we are leaving so we can make sure to be up in time for something the next day. I am constantly one step ahead of myself and worrying about the next thing. This needs to stop.

I think that is good for now. Eight things is plenty to work on, and if I somehow master these, I think I can find something else too :)

The holidays...

2008-12-23T15:30:00.002-06:00

I'm the youngest of the three kids in my family. As a child, like most kids, I looked forward to Christmas (especially since in my family no torturous church outings were required!) probably more than any other day of the year. I spend far too much time contemplating Santa and how he did what he did. (For the record, my conclusion was that, "There is no way that Santa isn't real because there is no way that all of the adults in the world would lie to children like that." Boy was I wrong!) As I've gotten older, there were younger cousins below me, but unfortunately we didn't spend nearly as much time with them as in many families. Since all the kids are grown up now, we've had many a Christmas that seemed to lack that magic, that spark that I remember as a kid.

Somehow the exercise of making a Christmas list when I'm 25 years old seems a little bit selfish. Yes, I can tell you I would like a list of knitting gear, some Gocco inks, some kitchen gadgets, but I surely don't need any of it. In fact, more often than not I struggle with not just buying the things on my list as soon as I put them there (I'm not a very patient person!). I sometimes feel like the whole process is a bigger bother to many people in my life (my brothers, dad and boyfriend included!). I love making and buying gifts for people in my family. I love trying to figure out the perfect thing, the perfect wrapping and the perfect card. (In fact, each year I have had a wrapping "scheme" of sorts, one year it was tulling with snowflakes drawing on in paint, last year it was brown paper and bright ribbon, this year blue paper with red crepe paper puffs on top!) Yet, despite all my efforts, the holidays seem to hit a little sad note.

I am fairly certain the difference is children! With no children in the house, it just seems silly to all sit around and exchange gifts. We are all adults, we can all buy the things we want/need, so why bother doing it for each other? But kids, they are a different animal all together. They get toys and things they can't just go get for themselves. It is a glorious day of happiness and surprise for them.... and to me it is the kids that make Christmas great. One of my favorite new Christmas traditions is getting toys and clothes for a child for the salvation army. They give you an age, sizes and their little wish list and you go get things for them and turn them back in. I love going and picking out items for the kids... even though I don't get to see their reactions. I'm sure their reaction to the hats and gloves is less excited, but I'm sure the toys always get a great reception :)

This will be the first year my family has a "child" around again. I only say "child" because my niece Anna is only 9 months old. Although I had a blast picking out her hippo shape sorting toy, I don't know why kind of a reaction I'll get, and she is surely too young to understand Santa yet. I can't wait until Anna (and any brother or sister she may have by then) is talking and gets all excited for Christmas. I think having a kid around at the holidays will make everything a little more magical and special. I also can't wait until I have kids and can do all the same, but that is quite a ways away for me! For now, I have had to settle on getting my "kids" dog and cat toys, and I'm pretty sure they aren't really going to appreciate the meaning. Not to mention I can't exactly put them under the tree since I'm too scared to have a tree right now with the way these two play. :)

Happy Holidays Everyone!

A little quiz...

2008-12-22T12:05:00.003-06:00

I have been being seriously lazy in my blog writing (seriously, where have the last few months gone!?). I have seen this fun little quiz on several blogs as of late and wanted to re post it. Hopefully it will give you some insight into me, and well, maybe it will get me motivated to write more. :)

Here's the rule: Bold the things you've done & post on your blog!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars - Does in a tent count? I hate bugs :)
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii - Zach, hint hint ;)
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland - Disney world, but I think that counts
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo - No, and that is truly best for everyone.
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris - Again, if anyone wants to take me, I'm game.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch - I learned to knit with the minor assistance of a class, I learned minor web design, completely from scratch.
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning - Denny's eggs, if they look runny don't eat them!!
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables - Zach and I have done so the last two summers, in fact I think we have created a semi-competition with our neighbors over it!
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked - No thank you.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - Not at my current job of course ;)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon - That would really be a miracle
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise - Well, we will be leaving on our first one February 2nd!
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - If being in Germany counts, then yes. Did I got visit somewhere specific there? Well no.
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language - I sort of learned Spanish and German... I didn't use Rosetta Stone or anything, I took classes. Does that count?
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - Now, I think truly satisfied is a bit of a stretch for a silly quiz!
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke - Our "friends" put us up to it, much to the Mister's chagrin. He left very angry... despite being a musician he DOES NOT like karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight - At a friend's wedding a few years back.. it was on the beach and we danced into the night!
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie - An ex-boyfriend from high school asked me out with a message on a movie screen before the movie we were going to see. Does that count?
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen - My mom and I did one Christmas... I know it was supposed to be life changing, but it was depressing and there were actually too many workers there. Evidently a lot of families do that at Christmas... so if you plan to do it and want to actually do some good, pick another time of year.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies - My mother refused to allow me to be a girl scout.
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason - Plenty of flowers, but generally a reason (birthday, new job, Sweetest Day etc.)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy - I've saved a lot.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car - My beautiful "kiwi" green Ford Focus (Yes, I actually bough an American made car, don't blame me for the auto industry needing a bailout!). Otherwise referred to as "something that came out of a giant's nose" by the jerk at the Taco Bell drive-thru window.
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper - Well, actually my family was in the newspaper, and I was in my mom's belly, only about 3 months into my fetus life.
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year's Eve - I don't kiss strangers.
86. Visited the White House - I saw the outside, and I saw the homeless man outside it who can get squirrels to climb on him for food. Post September 11th, that is about the best you can do.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox - I hear they have a vaccine for this now. That makes me sad. I think this is one right-of-passage all kids should have!
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

31 out of 99... I can't decide what the heck that means. Maybe I need to get out more :)

In case my lazy nature continues, happy holidays to all!!

On Weddings...

2008-10-14T11:28:00.007-05:00

I have a confession to make. I stalk wedding blogs. In fact, two of them are in my blog list, and far more are on my google reader. Wow, I feel better already for just admitting that.

Now, Zach, if you are reading this you need to take a deep breath and keep reading, I swear this will get better.

Despite my obsession with learning about and following other people's weddings, I still have no desire to have a large wedding myself. In fact, the more I read and the more beautiful pictures I see, the more clear it becomes to me that having a big blow-out wedding with 200+ of my closest friends and family is the LAST thing I really want. There are a million reasons why people want a big wedding, but here are some of mine for why I don't:

1) I hate having people looking at me and being the center of attention. So does Zach actually, which I think is odd since he is in a band, but that is what he tells me. I feel sick just thinking about a bunch of people staring at me when I walk down the isle.

2) The idea of spending anything more than about $250 on a dress seems crazy to me. Now don't get me wrong, I have justified the purchase of purses that are slightly higher than this price range, but I use them about a million times, which makes the price per use seem almost justifiable. A dress I'll wear only once? Not so much.

3) I can think of a lot of better ways to spend $28,000+ (the average cost for a wedding these days). To name just a few: down payment on a bigger home (if the market ever picks up so we can sell the first one), one (or three) SERIOUS vacations, paying off Zach and I's student loans, paying off a chunk of the mortgage for the place Zach owns now, fun home renovation, or well... just about anything. When even a part of me things about that big wedding, all I can think is the $$ we'd be wasting. To me, a commitment to each other shouldn't have to begin with a major expenditure or debt up to our eyeballs.

4) My parents (and Zach's) are no longer together. A wedding means the bringing together 2 sets of people who were once married, and are no longer. Although I know that everyone would be civil, just think about the wording on the invitations if we tried to include parents?! Maybe if our parents were still together there would be some great meaning to having a wedding with everyone there, but without that it just seems like a mess.

5) I still can't figure out why a meal that costs only $25 when I get it in a restaurant, suddenly costs $85 when it is done for a wedding. I just don't think that $85 is really a reasonable price for chicken.

This isn't mean to be a judgement on the people who have big weddings, because they are beautiful wonderful affairs that I actually like attending. If those events work for you, and you (or your parents) have the money to bankroll them, I say more power to you. I'm not that girl and either is my bank account. I work for local government people, I'm not going to be rich any time soon.

It is also not meant to say that I won't some day get married, because I hope that I will. It just might include a tiny ceremony and a kick ass party afterwards that include darts and bar food instead of rubber chicken and a dance floor. To each their own I guess.

Sometimes people worry me....

2008-10-03T15:16:00.004-05:00

Here is your SAPSA (Squirreled Away Public Service Announcement) for the day.

There is an e-mail going around which has made it to three people I know already this week. It claims, "I'm against the $85,000,000,000.oo bailout of AIG. Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a 'We Deserve it Dividend'. . . So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion..... that equals $425,000. My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend." It goes on to explain how great this would be, how we could all pay off our mortgages, save for our kids college, blah, blah, blah.

Only one MAJOR problem. The math is off, by, ohhhh, 3 zeros. We would each get $425 not $425,000. That money is NOT going to pay off my mortgage, get me very far saving for mythical Junior's college, or even pay off the "puppy debt" I have accumulated since Rigby's arrival at my house.

If you get this e-mail, please pass on the REAL math to your friends and loved ones.

It really scares me that people don't stop to question things they get as e-mail chains... so much of it is just plain garbage. Not only this one but there are plenty of others out there that people seem to believe are the truth somehow because they come through their e-mail server. The other BIG one I remember is the one which is circulating about Obama being a Muslim, and hates America and other things. If you'd like to check out the "fact check" on that one you can do so here: http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/muslim.asp. I remember a lady I used to work with who got the Obama one, passed it on to others, and was continually warning people about the things listed in it. She had previously stated that she was going to vote for him too! It scares me that she didn't stop for a second, think it through, and try to check out some of the facts in the e-mail she got before she contributed to the madness.

So please people, think before you hit "Forward".

Thanks you, and have a nice weekend :)

Managing my Time... and my Life

2008-09-25T16:22:00.012-05:00

As part of my new job, I have been enrolled in a "Leadership Academy" which is attended by a lot of the Village's management and supervisory staff. The group I am going through it with includes people from all departments and provides a pretty interesting cross section of our employees. The program lasts about 9 months, and we meet every 2 weeks for 2 hours on a Tuesday morning. So far, I've had two classes, both of which I have found supremely interesting.
This week, the section was entitled "Managing my Time". When I saw the title, I thought, mange my time!? - I don't get to have that luxury in life, I work in local government, but ok humor me.

First she asked us to complete the following statement... Time is.....

My answers: precious, always getting away from me, structure, and hard to manage.

Then, she presented the following, life changing model.

THOUGHTS

impact our

FEELINGS

which impact our

BEHAVIORS

which create our

RESULTS

Now, maybe without the explanation this doesn't seem earth shattering or maybe because it was 7 am and my brain was still waking up, I was easily impressionable, but for me this is providing me a whole new way to view my life and my control over it.

Here is her example, and to me it makes a lot of sense. If my THOUGHT about time is something like "it is always getting away from me" this will created FEELINGS of a lack of control and a rushed "I better get this done quick" vibe, then my BEHAVIORS will exhibit a rushed attitude, which may or in my case, may not, provide the RESULTS I want.

The stinker is, often our THOUGHTS about things (Time, love, money, etc.) are long standing, often parentally infused, ideas that we don't even really "think" about. They are things that may have been put there by the actions and ideas of others, long before we really cared to worry about any of them. The great thing is, if we don't like the RESULTS we are getting, we can work backwards and figure out what core belief we have that might be causing this chain reaction, and work to reprogram our brains for different results. Now this is my kind of self-help.

For me, the time example rings 100% true. I have about a million things on my desk and in my head that require my attention. I often find myself rushing through things I enjoy, and I constantly worry about the next thing on the list and whether or not "there will be time". This isn't only in my work life, this is at home, on vacation and everywhere in between. I wake up on vacation thinking, "Oh my gosh, it is already 10:00 am! We are going to miss something, we are wasting our vacation!" In the same vain, I often find myself so overwhelmed with things I want to do at home, that I end up vegetating on the couch doing almost none of the things I want to do. I feel NO control over my time, or at least I didn't until I started thinking about it differently.
This week, I have decided to reprogram my brain to see Time as a commodity that I control and can choose to spend in a variety of different ways, kind of like money. I will no longer allow myself to think about time as something abstract that I have no control over. At home, this means that when I get home, I take the Rigby out for a walk and enjoy the outdoors (it is still nice out afterall, and I should enjoy it while I still can!) and I bring him home, get him dinner and play with him and the cat. Last night, after all the doggy fun, I sat down to watch TV and thought, is this really something I enjoy? Is this a VALUABLE use of my time? Of course the answer to this is a big NO, so I went upstairs and worked on my Gocco swap project until there was something on TV that I actually was looking forward to watching.

I know this might not sound all that exciting to anyone but me, but to think about this model for all the things in my life that I might be less than thrilled with really has made for an interesting week. I find myself feeling a sense of control over my life and the way I am spending it, which is pretty new for me. It has enabled me to live in the moment in a way I have been striving to do for a long long time.

Puppy update..

2008-09-19T14:25:00.000-05:00

Wow, I have a blog for a few weeks and already I have fully neglected it! Sorry for the delay, the addition of Rigby (Named in honor of the Beatles' Eleanor Rigby), the puppy mentioned in the last post, has turned my life a little upside down...

Rigby the great.

Don't get my wrong, Rigby is a wonderful puppy by all accounts. Sure, he still hasn't fully gotten the going potty outside thing down....but I can't really complain since he is doing remarkable well for a puppy who I don't think had EVER gone outside before. In fact, I think at his "shelter" he did his business in his little cage. Considering that, I think he is doing quite wonderfully! He really only has occasional accidents, mostly because we aren't watching close enough or are being lazy about taking him out in the AM.

Max and Rigby during their first meeting. If you look VERY closely you will see that Rigby has one of Max's favorite toys in his mouth, and Max is actually mid-jump in swating him. Their battle royals will be caught on video soon and hopefully posted here. They are pretty entertaining.

My brother, sister-in-law and niece (who is only almost 6 months old!) were visiting this past weekend and Rigby was pretty good with the baby around. He wanted to play with her (and her toys!) but he was pretty decent all things considered. My brother and sister-in-law were really impressed by his attitude and his relatively calm demenor. Just one of the many great things about Bostons!!

The strangest thing about the puppy, is that my mother, Zach's mother and Zach's father are pretty much obsessed with him. Zach's dad actually called me last night, when Zach wasn't even home, to check up on his "grand-dog". Now, I understand that Zach's parents don't currently have any real grandchildren yet, but their obsession with my dog makes me wonder what their reaction to real live children will be like. I appreciate their enthusiasm about the pup though, especially my mom, who isn't really a dog person. She even agreed that he could come along to Wisconsin the next time if we would like! I don't know how her cat will feel about that, but I guess we will find out...

Other than the puppy, life has been moving along as normal. I signed up to do a Gocco postcard exchange being put on by Lisa over at www.thebunnylog.com/journal. A big HI!! to any of you who are reading this because you are fellow participants!! I have been stressing about what to do for the design, and I am honestly a little bit nervous about what I will come up with. There are some seriously talented artists involved, and it makes me worry that they will get my cards and be really disappointed. I am planning to spend much of this weekend plotting for the postcards so I can hopefully print next weekend when my paper gets in.

We officially have our first child...

2008-09-08T10:53:00.000-05:00

A Puppy!!!!

Our beautiful new edition!

This Sunday Zach and I did what may very well be the most spontaneous thing we have done... we drove 5 hours to St. Louis to procure the ADORABLE puppy you see above. We actually filled out the on-line application for this little guy sometime late Saturday afternoon while sitting at our friend's house, and the time we got home late that night the e-mail oking our adoption was in my inbox and taunting me to come collect him. We made a tentative decision to maybe go get him the next morning... and by 8:00 am I was up and waking up Zach to help me make the decision of a lifetime (or at least the next 12 years).

Zach, in what can only be described as puppy fever, hopped up and started getting himself ready. By 9:30 we were on the road to St. Louis and both a little amazed at what we were actually doing. Zach's puppy fever, which unbeknownst to us actually translates into "lead foot", got us to St. Louis in record time.

The puppy was every bit as sweet as he looked in his pictures, and within the hour we had paid for our little man and were on our way. The place we got the puppy was ok... they rescue dogs that the "puppy mills" couldn't get rid of otherwise, and there were a LOT of small dogs there... I worry a little about any lingering health problems that might pop up with him, but he will be getting a full work-up tomorrow at my vet, so hopefully he will get a clean bill of health.

So far, we are one night down. He sat in Zach or my lap the whole way home (all 5 hours of it!) and was happy as a clam. He did his business outside as he should and has been generally well behaved. He even made it through the night, all crated up, and didn't keep us up all night. What more could we ask for?!

Max and his meeting was pretty amusing, but I'll post more on that later. The photographic evidence is truly priceless!

He hasn't quite been named yet... he was Billy at the shelter, but we aren't really sold on that. Any suggestions?

My High School is stalking me...

2008-09-04T10:19:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week, I got a postcard from my high school asking me to update my personal information with them for some alumni directory they are attempting to assemble. My first thought was, how on EARTH did they find me? I have lived in at least four different places since my high school days, and two of those have been out of state. My last move was over a year ago, and I have had actual important mail that had a difficult time finding me at my new address. How exactly did my high school, who usually sends mail to me at my Dad's house (he still lives at one of my past addresses) find me all the way in Illinois? Now, to make matters even more creepy, they also have my e-mail address and sent me an additional request through that.

I can't say I miss this place.

Thinking back, this is actually the third such request I have received from an old school of mine. Both Carroll College and NIU have sent me the same types of postcards and e-mails in the past year. Looking a little further down the line, it looks like this is the work of "Harris Connect". Clearly this company has some contacts at the Pentagon that help them track down alumni information. Then again, I don't think that even the government is this good at keeping track of me.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't really have any opposition to the idea of my previous schools having my contact information. I just find the following portion of all of these communications odd:

"CALL TODAY - TOLL FREE 1-800-864-6208
(Central Time)

Mon. - Fri. 7:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m.
Sat. 7:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.
Sun. 11:30 a.m. to 8:00 p.m."

You can only call to update your information. With all the work you have done to track me down, you couldn't have developed some type of easy to fill out on-line form? Not to mention, with such a form they could have contacted me ONCE, I could have filled it out, and they could have just shared my information with all three schools! Clearly these people should hire me to do some of their development work.

I have absolutely no desire to call these people. I feel like the conversation is going to go like this, "So what have you been doing since you graduated from high school?" "Well, I went to college at Carroll College in Waukesha, WI...then..." "Um... can you spell that college for me?" I don't want to spend half an hour trying to update some operator about my life and trying to literally spell it all out for them.

Strangely though, I fully have a desire to share my life and accomplishments with people, especially the people I have graduated from high school with. If there was a form I could fill out, I would 100% participate, but to call, that is just too much work. Does this prove that I am seriously lazy? Yep.

Not to mention, if I call, then these crazy information miners will have my phone number too and that is just too much. Give Carroll and NIU my phone number so that they can harrass me to donate money? Not a chance.

Gocco madness!

2008-09-03T21:33:00.001-05:00

Earlier this year, I purchased a Gocco. The Gocco is a small Japanese screen printing machine which has been in and out of production by it's Japanese manufacturer for some time. (For the record, it is currently out of production).

The magical Gocco.

I am in LOVE with this thing!! Although I can honestly say that I didn't NEED the Gocco, it has been a wonderful addition to my crafting addiction. Below is an examples of my most recent Gocco work:

Aaron Williams Limited Edition CD.

The CD above was created for Aaron Williams' Limited Edition CD The Everwinding Road. We did 100 copies, and it turned out really great. As you can see in the picture below, sometimes the layers were a little off, but that is part of the charm right?

The front cover. (I can't for the life of me figure out how to turn this image, if you know, please let me know!)

I do really love the way this one turned out. I was a little paranoid half way through that it was going to be a DISASTER, but in the end it panned out nicely!!

Pedicures...

2008-08-25T13:58:00.000-05:00

Pedicures are possibly the best things ever. And red toe nail polish, makes every high heel look sexier! As evidence, please see below.Ok... now that I actually see the picture, I recognize that could be my feet or well... some street walker. And for those of you who know me, that would clearly mean the red nails have done something very serious.

Getting Started...

2008-08-04T14:29:00.000-05:00

Starting a blog is a strange and silly thing... I had a live journal account once back in College and I remember enjoying writing that a lot . Of course, there was a lot more silly boy drama in my life to reflect on back then... which frankly made for some pretty interesting posts.

Things are a lot more sane now, but my desire to share my random little life with the world really has not. Let me share a few things about Ashley in 2008.

First off, I have a cat whose name is Max. He is a strange fellow, but provides a GREAT deal of amusement in my life. I am sure you will be seeing more of his antics soon enough.

Second, and possibly more amazingly, I have a serious and stable relationship in my life. Here Zach and I are this past weekend, celebrating our 3 year anniversary with some wine tasteing.

All this normalcy and lack of drama in my life (and FINALLY being done with school of all kinds) has pushed me to some interesting, and somewhat domesticated, pursuits. I've started knitting, doing paper crafts, keeping a kick ass container garden on our back patio and screen printing with my GOCCO (more on that in future posts). I hope to use this blog to comment on some of those things, and any other random thoughts, of which I fear there will likely be a lot.